How My Menstrual Cycle Affected Me Projecting 8B in Ceüse
Exhaustion. Depression. Joy. Excitement. Never-ending play buries itself alongside never-ending disappointment.
The emotional extremes that I bounce around my head feel both cyclical and randomized. When I feel high, I dread, but anticipate the drop below. When I am low I find it hard to face the reality that I will once again be high.
I had a lot of time to reflect while Projecting 8B in Ceuse.
I was living with my friends in the woods.
Cooking dinner on a wooden table.
I was killing mosquitoes meditating in the forrest.
I was running from some things while confronting others.
I was developing relationships while struggling to understand French.
I was far from home but full of a love one feels for home.
At some point this winter, I decided I would go to Ceuse this summer. It felt a bit like a calling. It was apparently where I needed to be so I listened and I left. I left my 9 month life I had built in Madrid and went somewhere new where I thought I knew no one. After a 15 hour travel day, I made it to the camping, where a friend from high school appeared miraculously. The universe said you are ok, you have friends here, you have friends wherever you go. So I stayed a month. More friends came. More friends made. I arrived in my follicular phase ready to start anew. My ovulatory phase came so I easily made new friends, started my project, and pushed my limits.
A common phenomenon with say use is that the trip is a bit of an arc where your best Climbing is right in the middle after you’ve adjusted to the style, the hike and the weather, but after about two weeks, you start to feel the exhaustion of everything and as I entered my luteal phase this is what began to happen.
The hike exhausted me.
The people felt unfamiliar.
The climbing was using me as a punching bag.
As I entered my late luteal phase I felt like a snail wanting to retreat to her shell. I felt lucky to have my friend Victoria going through similar emotions in her late luteal phase. Sisterhood.
“I woke up feeling awful and blind so I sure do hope I get my period today”
I started to feel myself decline.
My cognitive ability; my physical strength
Why does this happen every month? I’m angry!
But here I felt worse. Trying to perform at my best surrounded by professional athletes. I wanted to feel good in my body, but every month like clockwork I declined.
I continued projecting the route seeing very little progress.
Climbing is a constant challenge that is always more mental than physical. Whilst trying to create new relationships I was also trying to accomplish the hardest thing in climbing that I had ever done.
As I neared the end of my luteal phase, I started to feel the weight of everything I had put on myself to accomplish that month
For my last days in Ceüse, I ended up climbing three days in a row which brutally destroyed me for a week. I piled layers of Magnus chalk upon my hands, hoping that the heat would melt away.
Brush, chalk, climb: the ritual we repeat.
On my last climbing day, I made major links on my project by doing the route in three takes. I was rushing up it to get the drone footage before the drone died. This sense of urgency along with it being my last attempt on the route really made me push myself more than I had in previous sessions.
I don’t know if I had more time during this trip if I could’ve done it.
I don’t know if I trained properly beforehand if I could’ve done it.
There’s 1 million and 1 factors to take into consideration in climbing.
I tried Archetype 8B, and I didn’t send but I also didn’t fail.
My climbing improved, my fitness improved, and I made memories that will last forever.
I realized that a lot of rest is needed to accomplish these big goals which includes a lot of time for reflection.
Journaling in the morning.
Time away from people so that you can be your best self when you’re around those people.
Just straight up sleeping.
Every month, I figure out more how my cycle is affecting my body, my thoughts, and my actions. Every month, I get more insight into how I can work better with my body in my training, in my life, and in everything I do.
There’s always more to learn and I hope I’ll be back to Ceüse soon.
